Many early writers seem to have trouble with dialogue. This is not something to fret about but rather learn by reading examples elsewhere, pay astute attention whenever in a good book and this data is everywhere.
But of course, also dive into other sources of direct knowledge such as books specifically detailing how punctuation and dialogue work.
Writer’s Digest has a great post on this where they discuss the importance of:
- Not writing in full sentences.
- Providing proper punctuation.
But also consider:
- Not overly narrating from a character perspective.
- Place actions around and between broken fragmented dialogue to ensure a reader understands while feeling realism.
- If having dialogue problems, ask yourself, would you say it that way?
A quick example I demonstrated to others this morning:
“Make it so,” Sarah announced before she spun on heels and moved toward the captain’s chair.
This was her elusive prey, that soft leather she had pined over for many years until finally this day came.
As Sarah plopped into the comfy seat she giggled.
“He didn’t put up much of a fight after all, did he Kris?”
Sarah caught a silent and calm stare as the alien often gave, slowly blinking before adding some agreement.
“No he did not,” Kris stated and after a pause said, “but we aren’t out of the fire yet.”